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Hey Stella!

Are you listening? We need your attention! We have a thing or two to say to you about this jumpsuit...

(Available at Bluefly for only $324.69)

Romper Riddle

How do you put this on (bitch)?

Toe Shoes from Hell

Normally we really like Vivienne Westwood. In this case, we'll make an exception.

In case you can't see what we see, note the "molded toe" that makes you look like you have feet like Fred Flintstone. Or Shrek. Or that your shoes are two sizes to small, and you wore them in the rain.


But it's time again for shoe math!

Get them here, for a mere $665. For gold, silver, and t-strap variations see here.

The birds, the bees and the bears

Nature lovers: the "VeraMeat Hibernation Hump Ring" can be yours for just $68. 

 

I hope he at least gave her flowers first. 

Howling coyotes?

From the site: "As the moon comes out from behind the clouds and the coyotes begin to howl, grab your tambourine and slip into the Drums in the Wind Black Lace Pants to join the dancers around the blazing bonfire! Conjure the gypsy spirit with sheer flowing lace falling from a stretchy elastic waistband down to flared hems for a free-spirited look!" Currently unavailable here.

Courtesy of our correspondent VIYMalexis. 

Stay away, Spring

We were looking forward to spring, until we saw these flamenco shorts. These will add camouflaging volume to your tummy and thighs, which I'm sure is just what you need, while leaving your fanny uncluttered so every ripple can show. We can appreciate a strategically placed ruffle, but this should be illegal.

$715 takes them home, here.

What....what is THAT?!?!

The most interesting thing about the Adriana Papell Chiffon Dress at Dillards is not the dress, it turns out.

Pandatastic

Pandas are cute. You with this hat-scarf thing are not cute. You are just $118 poorer and 118% more likely to get beat up.

Chuggs

Full disclosure: we at VIYM are entirely against Uggs. There's almost nothing that makes us want to VIYM more than Uggs. When it came to our attention that there was a collab between Jimmy Choo and Ugg, we couldn't run to the toilet fast enough. We bring you...Chuggs. If we meet the person who gave Jimmy Choo a Bedazzler, we can't be responsible for what we might do.

The price on the craptastic and craftastic lovelies, above: almost $800. (but shipping is free!)

If you want your hideous dead-sheep slippers boots adorned with stars and fringe, or an animal print is more your speed, for under $600 you can grab yourself one of these:





Jimmy, you're making us hate you. We never thought that could happen. It makes us want to cry.

Wait, what's that? Burgundy patent pumps with an almond toe and subtle platform? Sigh. We forgive you.

Report: Fashion Week

This post has nothing to do with "Fashion Week," whatever that is, we just wanted to pretend we were cool enough to give a crap. Enjoy the suckage spotted around the web.

We admit; we just love Southwestern-themed clothing here. (That, and horses.) VIYMvalerie said of this Ralph Lauren sweater dress, "This makes me think some sad American Indian lost his smallpox-infested blanket, and then a rich white lady found it and turned into this ugly thing."




Let's leave the American Southwest and visit that country where old women wear fedoras and chew the leaves of the cocaine plant all day (from Ideeli):



Forget cocaine, you'd have to be on crack to wear this gold lamé garbage bag (also from Ideeli)



Modcloth, home of many hits and misses, gives us this hideosity, the "Approaching Autumn" boot. Autumn saw it approaching, turned, and ran away, which could explain why it was 113 degrees in Los Angeles this week:



Finally VIYMkatie spotted this Zac Posen clear vinyl belt, exclusively at Saks, which says a lot about the Saks buyers:

Anthropologie nails the 'poni'....to your sweater

{Actual customer review}

"I LUV PONIES!!!! i ride them every day. like EVERY DAY. and i bought this sweater for christmas for my 5 BFFS4L and we all wear them all the time whenever we have horseback riding parties and it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO kewt and flattering and reminds me of my passion for horses and all things related. luv luv luv luv luv. EVERY GURL NEEDS 1 IN THEIR CLOSET"

You heard it., folks....straight from the horse's mouth......ooooh zing!

Anthropologie 'Poni Sweater' $328 (but I've got a hunch it might be marked down eventually)