Tapestry clog-style wedges, Jeffrey Campbell, $118 here. These combine the iconic Beau Brummel paisley of the 1970s with a silhouette that evokes platform nurse's shoes.
Open-toed bootie, Irregular Choice, $154, here. I can't do better than their own description: "We have to wonder which came first - the bootie, the platform, or the heel?" The rest of us are wondering why they decided to stock it at all.
Striped sweater boots, $50, here (no designer will claim them). And now it's time for...shoe math!